2-6-2021 Who am I to you?

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

 

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

―Philippians 2:3-8

O Lord, another dream. This one particularly vivid in its message.

 

It actually began in the middle of a scenario. I and my wife were at a breakfast café (the location was/is not familiar to me). We walked up to the counter and sat at bar stools. A tall man (also not familiar outside of the dream), who had apparently already served us our meal at another table, laid out four or five pastries and donuts before us.

 

In the dream, I knew the problem. I had somehow offended the man with some offhand comment I had made at the table. I had meant the comment to be heard only by my wife, but apparently, he had overheard it as well. In the dream and now, I don’t know what the comment was. Knowing me all too well, it was probably something meant to be a harmless joke, now turned horribly wrong.

 

What was apparent was that while sitting at the table beforehand, I had not known the man; only his observed actions and behavior. Now he was introducing himself in a profound way.

 

“Please, these are all yours,” he said pointing to the desserts, implying them as complementary. Then he asked me pointedly. “Do you know me?”

 

I was immediately ashamed, but more than that, awed at his conduct and I knew the answer to his question. “You are a servant, obedient to your calling. You are who I strive to be. Thank you for your forgiveness.”

The dream ended, but You, Lord, were not through with my lesson. I was instantly alert and awake in that moment. Replaying the scene in my mind, I recalled other factors. The man’s countenance seemed piercing, my offense to him having been genuinely injuring and in need of healing beyond the occurrence. I was being asked to participate in that healing by seeking my own.

 

And I now realize that before the dream, I considered myself more like the man, than after. In reflection I am discovering the paradox of humility: As I seek to become more like You and recognize the transformation ― the work You are doing in me ― I risk becoming proud of the accomplishment, and my humility suddenly becomes arrogant in its achievement: I risk making the work mine, not Yours. And in that state of spirit, I give myself leeway to make those offhanded jokes; to behave with impunity based on my assured forgiveness by You. I judge others without recognizing that I am the one being measured.

 

Lord in my study of "righteousness", I have learned that the origin of the word is “a saving act.” Though You have done the saving act and forgiven me even when I still, daily (and in my dreams) offhandedly offend/injure/crucify You. I confess that I still suffer from self-righteousness. I thank You for Your convicting-revealing-redeeming Love and help in healing. I cannot save myself, only You have that power.

 

One other thing the dream showed me. My beautiful bride, who was by my side during the entire episode, was not questioned by the man. I appreciated her presence but realize that the message was for me. You gave the dream me, not her. And by that, I am taught yet one more thing by You. I cannot in my quest to avoid judging others, forget that each of us is judged individually by You. I cannot assume that Your judgment of my actions, works and my belief is the same as it is for others. By their fruits I can recognize them, but only You can peer into the depths of each of our hearts and convict with Your Truth. Forgive me my attempts to try doing that as well.

 

I do know one thing more from this lesson, only because You share it in Your Word. I know that each of us is broken in some way ― not righteous, not one of us, by our own efforts. I know that Your convicting-revealing-redeeming Love is the only balm for my healing and for the healing of anyone else. We cannot save ourselves, only You have that power.

 

Jesus, I pray for more of these dreams and for more of Your saving lessons, epiphanies, and grace. I pray for my heart and mind to be softened by and open to them. And I pray for the hearts and minds of all of humankind; that each, by Your saving lessons and epiphanies: in their own way discover Your Love and very personal grace.

...put off your (my) old self,
which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires...
and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
―Ephesians 4:22-24

 Let it be so,

Mark C.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2020 Christmas Blog

 Christmas 2020

There is an appointed time for everything, A time for every activity under the heavens:

- Ecclesiastes 3:1

        

 

O what a year, Lord. So many of my family, friends, and community have delivered their own observations on the environmental, geopolitical and societal events common to us all, so that I am inspired not to add my 2 cents (you – the reading audience – are welcome).

 

I will however say that the move my beautiful bride and I made this year, based on our sensing a spiritual call to be more closely connected to family, has impacted me in ways I could never have imagined.  You literally provided us within a scant four-month timeframe, a clear and encouraging path. Trusting in that, we uprooted our thirty-year history in Tennessee and rerouted to South Dakota. You, my God, have inspired me, based on these “moving events” to share some personal discoveries You blessed me with regarding two strange topics: Your Rehearsals and Your Mysteries.

 

For you folks unfamiliar with such things, I’ll be brief, and ask only that you tag along for a moment – this will involve you too.

 

If you are into such things, you’ll know that Scripture mentions seven festivals which God tells believers that we are to “rehearse” forever. Some of you will dismiss these feasts and festivals as arcane or at best quaint. Others may search for deeper meaning. All of us might ask, “why we are commanded to invest so much time and energy into seemingly antiquated, often misunderstood rehearsed and announced covenants?”

 

For each of us the answer is different, but the purpose always involves at least one thing―choosing.  Choosing either to acknowledge and honor; or choosing to not acknowledge a Spiritual Presence that we can neither see, nor completely fathom. I’ve found in my search of the text that it typically involves another factor – Anxiety or Anticipation of astounding things forthcoming. What we call it by another “A” word―Advent.

 

I’ve recently been pondering other events which are unrehearsed and unannounced. They present themselves as choices as well. The scribes of the Bible called them “mysteries”. They do not require deeper reflection, but instead, reaction. It’s difficult to see them coming, but when they happen, it’s a big deal―The biggest deals some would argue.

 

Jesus’ birth was one of those big deals. Though his coming was predicted, there was little warning of his arrival. All that the ancients had to reference at the time was some puzzling…“mysterious” passages in ancient texts; a star; some camel riders; and one more curious thing…Anxiety/Anticipation of astounding things forthcoming. One of the Biblical historical documentarians, a guy named Luke, mentions that in the moment when Jesus was born, King Herod was “anxious”, and with him, all the people of Jerusalem. Herod and the city dwellers somehow knew, though there had been no multi-media release, that something powerful and supremely significant was afoot. Their senses had been spiritually stirred in anticipation of something about to transform the ethereal landscape.

 

What’s my point? Lord, I’m finding it personally compelling that in both cases―the rehearsed commandments and the mysterious unprepared moments―You are active, working, moving in the moment. So that even when I feel hopeless, manipulated by the plans of humankind, abandoned by those I thought I could depend on; I have discovered that I…we…are participants (willingly or unwillingly) in things unseen; greater things, spiritually powerful and saving things.

 

For me, our move to South Dakota wasn’t an anticipated or planned thing. It was mostly a mystery until You, my God alerted us to and called us into the proper time and season for our participation. Were we willing? I have to admit it was an uncomfortable beginning. This calling was not part of any foreseen/rehearsed…“religious” observance. It required the blindest of faith. Yet we trusted because of what we had practiced in the past. I guess in a sense, our rehearsals of fellowship with You, made us far more confident of walking into the unknown.

 

Whether I perceive these times as wonderful or worrisome, I’ve learned that I am not only not in control, but I don’t need to be in control. My worry or my self-made plans matter less and less to me as I trust in Your desire for me. Yup, I am finally learning to decrease as You increase.

 

That “rebalancing” makes me anxious, in a very wonderful way for the moment, when humanity is brought to its ultimate decision―submission to its Superior relationship. I wonder how anxious in a wonderful or an uncomfortable way my family, friends and community are with such thoughts in Advent times like these?

 

Blessed Christmas to each and all of you,

Mark C.

10-31-2020 Tennessee Tears

 

 Tennessee Tears

 

Jesus wept. ― John 11:35

 

 

Lord, I confess that I’ve not been up to writing about the events of the last four months. I’ll use the excuse that the whirlwind circumstances of this season in our lives have required me to be laser-focused on a thousand tasks necessary to see it through. We have kept these events low key, only sharing with a few family and friends because frankly, it would have been overwhelming to try to explain while also trying to make sense of it all personally. Now the deed is almost done, and I’m at a point where the surreal is starting to congeal into a manageable reality.

 

For those scratching their heads right now, I’ll come clean. In July, my beautiful bride and I concluded that family matters more to us more than anything other than our relationship with You, our God. As a matter of fact, we both believe it was at Your spiritual urging that prompted us to pack up our belongings, sell our house of 23 years and move to South Dakota where much of our family resides.

 

(Jaw Drop Moment)

 

This was not and is still not the easiest of decisions, but the rapid-fire pace of our adventure’s unfolding has convinced me that this is a “God Thing,” much like the “God Thing” that brought us to Tennessee, 31 years ago. As I try to wrap my head and heart around the blessings and adjustments necessary to be obedient to Your calling, several perspective thoughts have come to the front of my mind. I share them because any of you who have ever been (or will be) placed into an uncomfortable position of decision may find my ruminations helpful…or not…I just feel led to share and hope our experiences bless you.

 

Beginning in 1831 the Cherokee nation and other tribal groups dwelling throughout Tennessee and the Southeast United States were forcibly relocated by the US government to regions west of the Mississippi. Lord before anyone reacts negatively to the comparison, please provide them peaceful pause to hear me out. I by no means want to over-reach by inferring we are victims of the same plight. First, we are not being forced, but are eagerly choosing to make this trek. As well, we do not anticipate (please Lord we pray) enduring the intense suffering that occurred throughout the episode now known as the Trail of Tears. We have been blessed in so many ways toward the preparation and making or this journey.

 

Yet I recall reading first-hand accounts of those brave pioneers, their fortitude, hope, and faith for the future that awaited them, and I take comfort from it. We will be leaving behind incredible friendships old and new, as well as bringing with us in our hearts the memories of those many bonded years in the beautiful hills of Tennessee.

 

Those experiences will not be easy to let go of, nor should they be. You prepared us over that time, for the amazing course to come, just as you, Jesus, also prepared, including your tears, for your transition on your own ultimate journey from the physical world to the greater realm.

 

Not only will we be intimately reunited with our South Dakota clan, we will also bond with new friends and acquaintances, being offered new opportunities to fellowship, witness, and serve as You have always encouraged us to do. I am still praying Lord about the ministry You are calling me to personally and I ask all those reading this to pray for and with me. But I am certain beyond doubt that this is a greater moment You are walking-out with us than any that has come before. That realization in itself fills me with awe when I consider the miracles and powerful moments You have already guided us through.

 

So, we go, confident, and yes, sad for our parting, but celebrating our going, shedding our own Trail of Tears; tears of sad passings and tears of future joy. Technology will help us to keep in touch with all those who have loved us in Tennessee, and it will also enable us to connect them with our new dwelling and companions. Through all of it and into our eternal adventure, I know even greater things are yet to come and I ask only one thing;

 

Dwell with us, Lord; let Your Will and Purpose be our desire and action through it all.

 

Let it be so.

 

Mark C.

07-11-2020 Who am I missing?

            Judging Others

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

"Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

            Ask, and It Will Be Given

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

            The Golden Rule

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

                                                                                                                                    ―Matt 7:1-2, 6-12 

Alright, now that I’ve worked through my inner struggle regarding my self-perceived worth/expertise vs. my actual spiritual worth to You, I submit to a question; asking, seeking and knocking for Your answer.

As You know, Lord, the Beatitudes was one of my first memory verses. I have typically looked at this portion, Matt 7 as a formula for personal discovery and discipline. For a long time now, I have struggled with and tried to work through my understanding of Your words in this passage. Judge not…then…don’t give gifts to dogs or pigs? In my mind, this has sounded highly contradictory.

But Your Spirit speaks to my spirit: what if these passages are as well, instruction on how I should testify to others; evangelism, reaching out to others, calling them to join me walking in the footsteps of you, Rabbi/Redeemer Jesus?

When I review the passage using a testimonial lens, I begin to understand:

            Who You are speaking about as the target(s) of my judgement?

            What You mean by giving away something that is “holy”?

            Who is a dog or pig, who is not a dog or pig?

            And how can I make those distinctions if I’m not to judge?

I pray, You answer: There is some implied/unwritten wording within Your instruction. You ask me not to ignore, but to explore in context. I was tempted to fill in the blanks with the easy answer―others. But You convict me with another more expanded word You used throughout Your message―mind. It is also understood by another name that has caused more than a little controversy through the years―soul.

You have taught me Lord that the Greek word dianoia translates either as soul or mind―the unseen realm we humans consider to be our personal inner space wherein our choices and actions are determined.

This is not to be confused with another word You inspired in scripture― psuchē which today is commonly mistranslated as soul. The more accurate rendition is breath/spirit. As I understand, this is my spirit which is breathed into me by You, or if I had chosen to reject You, it may be breathed in by some other spiritual dweller. I know this is dangerous ground to present with others reading along, but it is how I have come to understand my place in Your universe. I am a body, endowed with a mental soul. And within me is an additional space to be inhabited, through choice or otherwise, by some spiritual force.

And so, my study of Matthew 7 suggests that filling in the implied wording for context should help me better comprehend what You are asking of me…

Judging Others

"Judge not (other souls), that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce (on other souls) you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

"Do not give dogs what is holy―spiritually pure, morally blameless, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

Ask, and It Will Be Given

"Ask (for souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure), and it (also can be translated as “they”) will be given to you; seek (souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure), and you will find (them); knock, and it (they; souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure”), will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks (for souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure) receives (them) , and the one who seeks (souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure) finds (them), and to the one who knocks it (they; souls who are seeking what is spiritually pure) will be opened.

 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread (metaphorically―spiritual food?), will give him a stone (metaphorically―tomb/death)? Or if he asks for a fish (metaphorically―testimony of sincere faith?), will give him a serpent (metaphorically―deception?)?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

The Golden Rule

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you (to help you discover what is spiritually pure), do also to them, for this (testimony of God’s existence to others) is the Law and the Prophets.

The same language and similar parallels can be found in the Luke, Chapter 11 version of the Beatitudes, verifying that this message is equally about how I am to not just embrace and live my life according to Your revelation, but am also charged to actively share it.

So, what’s the big deal, Lord? What really changes in Your teaching if I view it evangelically? For that, you led me back two chapters to Matthew 5:13-16

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

I am salt and if I lose my saltiness, I’m no longer useful? I am light and should not hide? But the world would tell me that my faith is a personal, private thing. I’m not to bother others with the details. What is Truth, then? If I ignore Your testimonial teaching and challenge, it sounds like I will not be counted as one of the “Beatitude Blessed”!

What’s so disturbing about this is that you, Lord, are not just commanding this of a few friends, but of everyone who hears the message. And the ultimate ramifications are striking as You tell in the final portion of Matthew 7:

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.

"And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."

So, this is not just about being right with You, it’s about sharing Your message with others rightly? Wow. There is a lot to digest within this new framework. Does it suggest that the “log in my eye” is not only addressing how I critique others, but how I reach out to others to share Your Gospel?

More prayer, more instruction. Lord, convict me daily to ask for opportunities and the courage to engage with “the willing ones”, those eager for a new message of hope. Teach me to be alert to Your Spirit’s working in those seeking. And when I knock, let the door of other’s hearts, and my own heart be opened wide to embracing Your lovingkindness and salvation through the sacrifice and resurrection of Your son.

I remain Your servant; asking, seeking, knocking—with open eyes and ears—for fellowship with others by Your Spirit’s calling.

It is so,

Mark C.

6-26-2020 The Emancipation of Expertise

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”

―Matthew 7:3-5

Troubling stuff, Lord.

I’m reading a book authored by a modern-day pundit. I find myself not only disagreeing with 90% of what he says, but the content is pressing certain buttons in my brain that I would rather not have pushed. I am flustered by this fellow to the point that I don’t even want to mention his name for concern it might be deviously mispurposed as some kind of endorsement to those who seek to embrace a humanistic worldview. I do not recommend this book, other than as a warning/example of high-minded opinionism.

Forgive me, Lord, he has the right to his opinions. I am sad for, not angry at him. I am sure others have such opinions of me and I pray that You correct me if my thoughts and actions are out of alignment with Your plan.

And for the “curious” out there…

            No, I am not the said author of the offending book―I’m not “self-bashing”.

No, I do not recommend book burning―but I do admit to sometimes speaking out/acting-out negatively, based on my own perceptions.

What a buildup, right? Why all the upfront apologetics, Adonai? I’m getting to that. I’m seeking Your wise spiritual counsel on a matter. To do so, I feel the need to think through (write through―that’s how You crafted me to think best) the issue and then wait on Your guidance to manifest. That means I have had to patiently read through the other author’s work to give him fair appraisal, and to make sure I somehow did not miss some critical point.

In quick summary: The author accuses that we live in an age where “experts” of any type are scorned by the masses. His overarching premise is that experts who have been accredited in their said professions should not just be respected for their expertise, but also trusted because of their experience, education and the endorsement of their colleagues who share the same expertise.

Lord, to me, that reasoning and defense smacks of elitism in its purest form.

But here’s the really disturbing part, Sovereign. At one time in my life, I could have been that guy. I remember harboring, even voicing very similar ideas, and considering myself such an expert. In fact, I can imagine even now having this very discussion with my friends and family around a table. Many, maybe even all of them, might say, “Oh come on Mark, I have definitely heard you speak in that way and have seen you behave based on a similar bias.” Then we would all share a chuckle about it.

I confess Lord, they would not be wrong. Here’s the glaring issue―as it has always been when You lovingly hold the mirror up for me to consider…

―Is that who I want to be?

More so, how convicted am I to follow You on an alternative path based on a different mindset altogether?

In this age of data-tracking, I’m discovering how having possession of data or confidence in one’s skills does not translate into reliable understanding and practical capability. Even one of the hallmarks of expertise, the concept of Scientific Methodology which You created, has been corrupted by us, Lord.

I was taught that the original intention of the Scientific Method is to ask what exists, then prove or disprove its existence by measured observations. But by today’s postmodern thinking, the Scientific Method begins with assuming something exists, then creating measurements to prove its existence.

Jesus, you are helping me discover that the two methods of measurement, regardless of whether I ascribe to one, the other, or some combination of the two, are contingent on whose measurement(s) are being used and what are their motivations? Are they valid? As important, are their measurements being used in some deceitful attempt to define the existence and importance of an object or event; then to control conventional wisdom to focus others’ awareness toward the “expert’s” desired outcome?

Lord, I am warned by You against human expertise, whether it is someone else or me who wants others to respect our coveted positions of power and control. But now comes an even bigger caution shared by You throughout scripture. It is directed at me and anyone else reading along:

Before I judge the author of the book I’m critiquing, before I argue against anyone else’s opinions, I must consider who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. Why?

Because You have told me what is good and what is required…to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with my God.

Is this resonating with anyone else out there? Can any of us claim we haven’t harbored/voiced (or are still harboring/voicing) similar indignance; believing we are better than You, God almighty, at determining best practices, administering skills, plying false integrity,  and distorted servitude in our trades? Are we capable of deferring to You, the Highest Authority, for expertise? Or are we doomed to eternally point fingers at one another, claiming we, because of our Selfish-Expertise-mindsets; know better?

My Savior, I think here is the best place to seek forgiveness from my fellow men and women. I don’t want to appear to be arguing that they should not be honored for their insights, education, experience, and intelligence. Certainly, we have all been endowed by our Creator with talents and skills. Some have even been bestowed with incredible spiritual gifts that can benefit the rest of humanity. Praise You for Your craftsmanship displayed through our best efforts!  But the subject-author suggests that his expertise makes him more intelligent, wiser than the general public within his domain. And I too have been tempted to ignore or dismiss the positions of others because their views, training, and life history don’t match up with what I deem credentially acceptable.

If someone who does not believe in a spiritual frame of reference condemns those with such a reference because they do not trust exclusively in human expertise, how do we proceed? Conversely, if I with my spiritual mindset do not carefully consider the expertise of other humans that You place in my path, regardless of their spiritual orientation, what blessings might I miss?

So, I’m asking for Your help Lord, Your wise council to be present as I weigh all the factors relating to the expertise of life. Whether I believe or practice as others do, let me demonstrate proper reflection before accepting, rejecting, or debating their prowess. I pray for You to inspire patience in them as well to consider my frame of reference, so that we can all draw on the best from one another. Inspire us toward solutions rather than endless complaining and debate.

Guide me as You convict me into a deeper study of Your Beatitudes to discover the blessings of Your will and plan for me; how I am to walk, serving Your purpose in the world rather than serving the desires of the world. Let Your insight shine through me as a testimony to others. Let us all dare to consider Your power and Your desire to guide us by the application of Your eternal skills as the only consistent Expert in whom any of us can totally depend.

Also, Lord, thank You for testing me and my ways―shining a light on the thoughts and opinions of those with whom I disagree. Let me be respectful and considerate, but not blindly compliant to their views. Help me to be ever mindful of and receptive to Your ways in comparison with humanity’s ways.

It is so,

Mark C.

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