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| Jerusalem Fowl |
"Not everyone who says to me,
'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will
of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord,
did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many
mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare
to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'
Matt 7:21-23
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| Column Capital at Scythopolis |
During our visit to Israel, I
discovered yet another paradox in my makeup, Adonai. I need Your help making sense
of this one. I became aware of my struggle, as I was trying desperately to
download pictures from my cell phone onto a friend’s computer in order to send
out one of my blogs direct from The Holy Land. In the effort, I had to try and
try again to outsmart the intelligence of the computer, which thought my mobile
phone to be a demon of some sort which was trying to attach the computer.
I even tried to make the mobile
phone photo files “look” like computer photo files, but the computer wasn’t
fooled. As much good as I intended by my attempts, the computer would have
nothing to do with my offering.
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| Muslim Quarter of Jerusalem |
I realized two things from this
effort. Both relate to how I behave toward You. First, Lord, as much as I want
to help, no amount of cleverness on my part is going to convince You that
something incompatible to Your plan actually is compatible. Unholy is unholy.
That part of my lesson was pretty
easy to pick up, the metaphor stares me in the face every day. The second challenge however is not so cut
and dry. I have concluded that I seem to
learn pretty effectively, using “trial and error” as my technique. As a matter
of fact, I have to confess that most of my best learning seems to have
come from this approach. The problem is…You do not appear to be a God who
designed me to be tolerant of error. Quite the opposite in fact, errors are
frowned upon in The Text. I started looking up the scriptural events associated
with errors and it’s not a pretty picture. When someone in the Bible is in
error, it needs to be corrected.
Interestingly, I had always
associated the word “error” with the word “sin” – but researching the
translations, apparently I was in error. The most common Hebrew word to define
error is…well, Elohim, that’s where this gets tricky…there is no Hebrew word
for error that’s used consistently. But most of the words that are used imply a
mistake or a blunder.
On the other hand, the two most
common words for sin imply an intentional act of disobedience or “missing the
target” (either intentionally or through neglect).
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| Aqueduct at Caesarea Maritima |
So I’m a little confused. Are my
errors, if presented with the best of intentions, OK? If I keep on erring, but
improve over time, coming closer and closer to Your intended design for my
life, is that OK? Is that Management by Grace? Or is that the easy way out?
Should I be continuously pouring through The Text, seeking ways to
premeditatedly avoid errors?
If the latter is Your preference,
I’ve got to confess; that’s hard work – especially for someone who, has seemed
to prove a successful pattern in the worldly concept of “trial and error”. I’ve
been complemented by my peers, over and over again for my tenacity in the face
of failure, picking myself up over and over again when I don’t quite” get it
right”, learning bit by bit and even giving You the credit along the way for my
improvement.
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| Temple to Pan at Caesarea Pillippi |
But the more I investigate, the
more evident it appears that my method, however successful by worldly
standards, is simply not…Biblical. As a matter of fact, seems to me that Cain
was a trial and error kind of guy and I don’t remember it working out too well
for him. The successful examples in The Text all suggest that, when faced with
challenges, choices and learning opportunities; those who pray and study
scripture and focus on Your instruction, get immediate positive results – not a
graduated series of near-miss improvements.
This is a difficult lesson, Lord. I
like grace. I depend on grace…maybe a little too much. I’m beginning to wonder
if I perhaps take a more casual approach to my responsibilities because I know
You’ve “got my back”. Does that really get me off the hook? What if I were to
approach every action and decision ahead of me as if there was no grace or
mercy, but still knowing that You are my judge? Would my behavior be different?
I’ve become too dependent on
repentance-after-the-fact. I “get” that errors may not be sins of commission,
but they sure do seem to be sins of omission. Whether unknown or presumptuous,
I should not take Your immeasurable treasure in kindness toward me, for granted.
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| Mark at Nativity Gardens |
I’ve confessed this to You before
and I’ll need You’re continued convicting help, Holy Spirit; to show me the
difference between haphazard experimentation and prayerful exploration of Your
instruction. Please help me see the errors of my ways before making them. Help
me investigate and dig more deeply into Your word, “rehearsing” my decisions and
actions rather than living a seat-of-the-pants lifestyle.
Master, I know I’ll still err. But,
with Your guidance, I can become better practiced in a new approach (at least
for me). I’ll strive to look ahead, study intently beforehand, pray and
practice trust in Your instruction. What name would fit such a lifestyle…presumptuous
obedience? Possibly. Or maybe another word, overused and poorly understood in
today’s world…
…faith.
I’m Yours to teach.
Mark C.
It took me several try to get this
right (Wait…SEE, there I go again!)
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