Here I am 3-2-2014
The word of the LORD came to Jeremiah a second time, while he was still shut up in the court of the guard:
"Thus says the LORD who made the earth, the LORD who formed it to establish it--the LORD is his name: Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jer 33:1-3
And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed.
And Moses said, "I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned."
When the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, "Moses, Moses!"
And he said, "Here I am." Exodus 3:2-4
And the LORD came and stood, calling as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant hears." 1 Samuel 3:10
Before I enter into communion with you Lord, I want to warn those on the journey with us; this one will be rough, complex and maybe a little longer than the norm. My God, you have all the time there is, but for you others…you may want to take this either in bits and pieces or find a time when like me, you can give it full consideration. To that purpose, readers, the content may best be split into several readings. Please pray for me as always, that to God be the glory in all we discover together.
You, Lord, of course are aware of the group of believers, who I consider to be incredible studiers or Your word, with whom I am honored to share fellowship. We’re studying the word and concept of prayer and were alerted immediately to the depth of what we are approaching. I’ve even gone back in the archives of my writings and found many attempts—make that entire years —devoted to the understanding of my personal prayer life with You. But prayer is not about years, it’s about our walk with You. So my education continues.
For me the challenge continues to be finding a better way to explain my understanding of prayer using human terms. One of those friends walking through this discovery process with me suggests that I “sketch a picture” as a method of conveying my thoughts. But before I can draw a conclusion, I need to work through my questions and misunderstandings to arrive at a better understanding. So with my keyboard, I paint:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be
acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Lord, I feel led by You to share some additional history. I have discovered others who had struggles with grasping the depth of prayer. A few notables: Martin Luther had to work through his questions on prayer by creating a study guide of Your Prayer. He begins each section with “What does it mean?” and I can only imagine the hours and prayers, ironically devoted prior to penning his thoughts. John Wessley implies there may be a temptation to make prayer a selfish quest. So he prayed, “…let me render to You what is Yours and let my spirit ever cleave to You alone.”
These men, your faithful stewards, had far greater brains than I and yet their writings suggest a mystery in prayer, something they allude to, but don’t directly address. Mysteries can be scary things. I could become fearful of my own clumsy methods taking me down a false path. But no, Lord, I will not fear prayer, it’s one of, if not the most powerful tool with which You equip me. I understand that the most powerful of tools can also do great harm. So, just as my earthly father taught me a huge respect for electricity; I want to fully seek understanding and learn respect for Your amazing gift of prayer. I pray that You guide me step by step through my learning and my application.
So in typical fashion, my time with You begins with a question, this one I believe to be one of the biggest—
Does prayer as You present it mean the same as what I’ve been taught by mankind?
And that seems to be the best place to continue my exploration—scripture. Who prayed? Did anyone not pray? Prayer in Your First Testament and the Hebrew text seems a bit different from Your Second Testament in the Greek. Are they really divergent or does one compliment the other? Knowing Your ways, I can’t help but believe it’s the later.
It doesn’t take long Lord to see that the Hebrew words Tefilah for Prayer and Palal for Pray are the favorites used by Your chosen writers. The primitive roots suggest judgment (officially or mentally); by extension to plead on behalf of another judged worthy: -), For both words, humility or supplication—my laying flat on the ground, face down, pleading my own soul out to You—is included in the definition.
Odd, the words “by extension” or “by implication” are used in connecting these words to the idea of prayer or praying. So neither actually defines prayer? And that other word…judgment? My Hebrew study implies it means “self-judgment”. Interesting. Am I doing the judging, or is it You causing me to be aware of my abilities/limitations. If it is You…of course it’s You…then I have, in the past, had the tendency to begin my prayers inappropriately: I have by my nature, come to You requesting before I even know what is Your desire for me in our relationship.
Lord, it sounds like, before I ever even get to the act of prayer, I need to be ready to pray. I confess that I get in a hurry to pray. I expect You to be at my beck and call when I’m in need. I have tended to approach You as if You were taking my order at a drive in window, that I may receive a quick happy meal to send me on my way. Other times I dial into You like a 911 operator, when things get bumpy in my life. I plead now for Your forgiveness Lord—those two approaches don’t seem to be included in Your First Testament scriptural examples.
What’s more, there seems to be more to intersession—praying on behalf of others—than there is intracession. If that’s the case, I should be much more concerned with the needs of others and making sure I understand Your will for them…
…but wait…? “Your Will”? Where in Your First Testament does it say that prayer has to be about Your will? Yes, I know how Jesus teaches us to pray, but where is the scripture to support it? How did Abraham and the other great ones know that Your will was the key to a righteous prayer life?
That seems to be a good place to bring in two other Hebrew words… Twsah Command/Said and Shama—some spell it Shema meaning to hear and respond. No, neither contain prayer in their definitions, but they do suggest to me the idea that You have something to say about our relationship before I start to add definition in my prayers.
Adonai, I confess, there are still so many things I don’t understand about our relationship—more of that mystery stuff. But nothing was, is or will be a mystery to You. And that is the peace I find in our time together. You are my source, my refuge and my redeemer in prayer. It’s another wonderful twist, Lord that I find by this very exercise, by reaching to You for my spirit’s feeding, that I grow closer in prayer with You.
Your design for relationship is so beautiful in that way. You know what I need, before I even ask it. But Your joy is when I come seeking Your guidance, just as I am doing now. Lord, I’m so grateful for Your word in this matter. You have, by others examples shown me the blessings of obedience and the curse of rebellion. So please forgive me, but I want to look back in perspective to what others had heard that seemed odd or contrary to Your ways, yet You blessed the actions.
Noah encountered You and built an ark, Hosea heard a word and married a prostitute, Peter had a vision and ate bacon (or some such). These and other examples in Your book present a puzzle. There were no previous scriptural commands these men were following. Arks weren’t in fashion – as I read it, there was little to no rain to worry about at the time. And in fact, the Torah forbade marrying a prostitute – that was punishable by separation from the society. As for dietary restrictions – Your people are famous for their laws on this matter.
Yet these very actions caused those in the “know” to seek You more deeply. Is that how the prayer circle works? Is it like praying for patience and receiving circumstances by which to learn patience? In the same way, when I pray for understanding, should I expect to see events in my life that will challenge me to greater understanding?
Here’s my own personal historical concern, Lord. I have in the past worshiped on a very regular basis with congregations of believers who believed they had the gift of tongues. All fine and good until they suggested that those who did not define this gift as they did; suffered a diminished prayer and worship life. Lord, I would never question another believer’s personal relationship with You—the hearts of these folks appeared genuine and strong…as I know mine to be also. Yet in my personal experience and studies I could not nor cannot find a fully complete scriptural foundation to solidify their position.
These Prayer Language folk that I fellowshipped with, prayed actively with and loved mightily, informed me that they had a word from You. The spiritual implication being that such messages from You trump all.
Wow, what power that gives to the individual; what opportunity to Satan! Such instruction sounds wonderful when presented as Your response to prayers, but…what if such messages are not like those You bequeathed to Noah or to Moses? What if they are the will of my heart couched cleverly in the depths of my soul as a desire I want You to grant. What if I am the one, even innocently and subconsciously praying You to obey me!
Lord, such a possibility warns me, especially by other scriptural examples such as Saul in You First Testament and Elymus in Your Second Testament. Yes, You can and do inspire new ways of examining and fulfilling Your word through individuals. I believe You even still deliver messages of prophecy though prayer. But Lord, prayerfully, I can’t find a place in scripture of any times, nor in respected books that support scripture, that says You will change Your word once spoken. You are and always will be unchanging, it is I who must be held accountable; reconciling my understand with all not part of your word. Testing what I think to be with what has, is and will be according to those greater and wiser than me.
Who would those, greater and wiser be? After all, we’re all in this together. Is one person’s word better or stronger than another?
That question brings me back to the memory of my Prayer Language friends. I wanted desperately to come to a common understanding with them. They were and are after all, still my brothers and sisters in You. But instead of desiring to pursue unity, seeking common understanding, many of them drew another picture for me, a line of demarcation, explaining I could not possibly achieve their level of relationship with You unless I accepted their interpretations. There would be no discussion with them, only instruction from them. After all, You had spoken to them, had You not? Was that not enough? Is that not what Prayer is all about—putting our words out, waiting for Your word to come back?
Or is there more to prayer than that? Didn’t Noah have Methuselah, didn’t Moses have Aaron. Didn’t You encourage Solomon, the wisest of all men to continue to sharpen his iron with that of other strong and wise believers in order to come to stronger agreement and complete understanding?
You are so rabbinical in Your ways, Lord! But as for me? All this sounds like a lot of work. And in case You haven’t noticed, Lord, I don’t like work. Hence my wanting drive-through solutions to the issues I present at the altar. I’d just as soon have the “quick answer” if You please—so spoiled am I.
Master of all prayer, I apologize if my heart sounds too sarcastic or frustrated about this study – I’m struggling only because I love the prayer relationship You are building for me with You…if I’m honest with myself, when I look back, I can see the strengthening in my spirit each time I come to You with Your will as my quest.
I get frustrated only because of my own laziness. Yet I’m hungry to learn more, studying the languages of Your prophets and apostles (which is a struggle and a joy in and of itself) and discovering I don’t even use the language of my native tongue well enough to share Your Love with others. Thank You that You understand me better than I understand myself. Thank You that You have understood from the beginning of time how all of mankind would try to make their prayers Your prayers, their words, Your Word. Thank You for the community of strong studying believers I am now associated with who are willing to walk with me, offering their own prayers and observations on my behalf that we may all seek you Jesus as The Word, The Truth; Our Life.
Let me not intervene with requests and desires that have nothing to do with Your desires. Let me be ever aware that, just as Isaiah 45 tells me, You are STILL creating and there are STILL mysteries,—even new (to me) pieces of Your plan to be revealed that may not be easily integrated into my scriptural understanding.
But as importantly, let me SHEMA! Let me continue to learn more about being still long enough in my own soul, that You can share Your Word and Soul with me. Let me not just hear and know; let me also be and do as You have designed me to be and do. Let me get out of the way with my limits so that Your limitless Love can lead me, even using other people, new sources, and my own submission as Your powerful tools for our prayer life and walk together.
Prayerfully I rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice,
Let my reasonableness be seen by all
Let me not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and supplication, by thanksgiving
Let my requests be reflections of Your will and desire
Let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard mine and all of Your believers hearts and
minds through personal relationship and prayer with you, my Messiah, Jesus
Amen
Mark C.
