Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in
Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality
with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a
servant, being born in the likeness of men. And
being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point
of death, even death on a cross.
―Philippians 2:3-8
O Lord, another dream. This one particularly vivid in its message.
It
actually began in the middle of a scenario. I and my wife were at a breakfast
café (the location was/is not familiar to me). We walked up to the counter and
sat at bar stools. A tall man (also not familiar outside of the dream), who had
apparently already served us our meal at another table, laid out four or five
pastries and donuts before us.
In
the dream, I knew the problem. I had somehow offended the man with some offhand
comment I had made at the table. I had meant the comment to be heard only by my
wife, but apparently, he had overheard it as well. In the dream and now, I
don’t know what the comment was. Knowing me all too well, it was probably
something meant to be a harmless joke, now turned horribly wrong.
What
was apparent was that while sitting at the table beforehand, I had not known
the man; only his observed actions and behavior. Now he was introducing himself
in a profound way.
“Please,
these are all yours,” he said pointing to the desserts, implying them as
complementary. Then he asked me pointedly. “Do you know me?”
I was immediately ashamed, but more than that, awed at his conduct and I knew the answer to his question. “You are a servant, obedient to your calling. You are who I strive to be. Thank you for your forgiveness.”
The dream ended, but You, Lord, were not through with my lesson. I was instantly alert and awake in that moment. Replaying the scene in my mind, I recalled other factors. The man’s countenance seemed piercing, my offense to him having been genuinely injuring and in need of healing beyond the occurrence. I was being asked to participate in that healing by seeking my own.
And
I now realize that before the dream, I considered myself more like the man,
than after. In reflection I am discovering the paradox of humility: As I seek
to become more like You and recognize the transformation ― the work You are
doing in me ― I risk becoming proud of the accomplishment, and my humility
suddenly becomes arrogant in its achievement: I risk making the work mine, not
Yours. And in that state of spirit, I give myself leeway to make those offhanded
jokes; to behave with impunity based on my assured forgiveness by You. I judge
others without recognizing that I am the one being measured.
Lord
in my study of "righteousness", I have learned that the origin of
the word is “a saving act.” Though You have done the saving act and forgiven me
even when I still, daily (and in my dreams) offhandedly offend/injure/crucify
You. I confess that I still suffer from self-righteousness. I thank You for
Your convicting-revealing-redeeming Love and help in healing. I cannot save
myself, only You have that power.
One
other thing the dream showed me. My beautiful bride, who was by my side during
the entire episode, was not questioned by the man. I appreciated her presence
but realize that the message was for me. You gave the dream me, not her. And by
that, I am taught yet one more thing by You. I cannot in my quest to avoid
judging others, forget that each of us is judged individually by You. I cannot
assume that Your judgment of my actions, works and my belief is the same as it
is for others. By their fruits I can recognize them, but only You can peer into
the depths of each of our hearts and convict with Your Truth. Forgive me my
attempts to try doing that as well.
I do
know one thing more from this lesson, only because You share it in Your Word. I
know that each of us is broken in some way ― not righteous, not one of us, by our
own efforts. I know that Your convicting-revealing-redeeming Love is the only balm
for my healing and for the healing of anyone else. We cannot save ourselves,
only You have that power.
Jesus, I pray for more of these dreams and for more of Your saving lessons, epiphanies, and grace. I pray for my heart and mind to be softened by and open to them. And I pray for the hearts and minds of all of humankind; that each, by Your saving lessons and epiphanies: in their own way discover Your Love and very personal grace.
...put off your (my) old self,
which is
being corrupted by its deceitful desires...
and to
put on the new self,
created
to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
―Ephesians
4:22-24
Mark C.
