“If you go to live in
Israel, I am so totally going to come visit you,” exclaimed a wonderful
surrogate daughter of ours.
“I totally want you to,”
I replied. And then Elohim, I began to think, “How will all this happen?” …And
so the trouble of the ‘double-minded me’ surfaces once more.
King David and Solomon
had the same problem; as did Jacob and Paul. Even Joseph, when he experienced
his dreams; and Your disciples – when they realized the power You had available
at Your hand – started preplanning and envisioning their roles in Your kingdom.
I’m guilty too of wanting to assume I know how things are going to unfold; after
all, You and I agree on so much.
If that were so, if I
could so easily predict Your plan; why has my life been such a roller-coaster
of events, both good and bad? Why did I not foresee the obvious opportunities
or heed the warning signs predicting catastrophe? Now, looking back, they seem
so laser-clear to my repentant soul.
But if it had been my
plan prevailing, I wouldn’t have ever recovered from my first marriage failures
as a husband. I would never have experienced the rebuilding of my life, even
being gifted to learn a new career using a skill set in financial planning I
never believed I possessed.
Even if I had grasped
the potential of all those redeeming moments, I would not dare have predicted
that I would then once again lose my career livelihood, being humbled into bowing
at Your alter to admit my total dependence on Your provision. And at that low moment, I would certainly not
have, in my wildest imagination, predicted that my wife and I would be offered
the opportunity to go to Israel – You very obviously providing the means (ours being so pathetically meager).
I guess what I’m
getting at Majesty, is that I’m trying to give up on predicting future
circumstances. Yet certainly I don’t want to throw the baby out with the
bathwater: I hear Your calling strongly that we are to go back to The Land. I
look at the headlines of strife and turmoil – even potential war in the region
– and shake my head, thinking once again, “How will all this happen?”
It will happen because
You have designed it to happen. It will happen when You deem it appropriate and
it will be for Your glory, not mine. It will be obvious when that time and
purpose is ready to be set in motion because everything will fall perfectly into
place. The challenge will be to keep up with Your breathtaking intention as the
groundswell of other followers will respond in words similar to our adopted
daughter’s exclamation. Their hearts will shout, “I am moved by these events
and by this example in ways I don’t understand and can’t explain.”
And You, as always,
will amaze us by evidence of Your Spirit surging forward. In my own strange
way, I’m comforted, Adonai. I don’t (and won’t) have to do any of the true
“heavy lifting”. My job will be to run
as quickly as I can to keep up with You, shrugging my shoulders all the time
and telling others along the way, “I don’t know how, I just know Who. I believe
in the power of The One True God.”
Mark C.
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